Propagating the Normalization of the Self-Made Woman Robs Women of their God-Given Imprint
There is something of a pride in the western world pushing it as a noble and good aim to have self-made women. These “self-made” women are women who have no help paying their bills, who have acquired a degree or success on their own, and who pay for and acquire everything as a result of their own goals, aspirations, and work. The women who have fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins and male family friends and then husbands who pay their bills, who help them with school and financial gain, and who even provide them with pleasantries are looked down upon as being “spoiled” or “brats” when this dynamic is the healthy and natural way in which men are to relate to the women in their life.
In this journal post, we consider the normalization of the “self-made” woman in mainstream, westernized society as being an unhealthy and perverted lie propagated to and then carried by women at the detriment of their God-given imprint.
There is no woman without man. This is rooted in creation.
The making of the self-made woman as a category for all women has been in the making since at least the early two-thousands. Even the mainstream, Disney-channel movies of the time were crafting and propagating the idea that being a self-made woman: fatherless, working multiple jobs, and being an outcast resulted in us getting the reward of being the main love interest of the man we desire and being the main character held in a captive gaze. Now, a decade later, many women aspire to be self-made women, and only after these women have made themselves are they allowed or even encouraged to consider starting a family, getting married, or even being a real person.
However, this self-made woman category which women now wish to actualize is built on false promises and robs women of their God-given imprint. This push to actualize this idea detracts from women living a fulfilling life, detracts from values supporting the family as an integral part of the societal fabric, and from men being able to fulfill their natural role: being the head of the household (i.e., leading both their woman and their children).
It is important to remember that a woman being provided for rather than being a self-made woman is something that can correspond and even coexist with women having their own things, with women having a bank account (or bank accounts), and with women having the opportunity to receive financial or monetary gain from their interests, hobbies, and art. This is because being a self-made woman has nothing to do with a woman having money, having a bank account, or having her own things. Instead, being a self-made woman prioritizes having these things as the result of oneself, as the result of being independent, and as the result of having received help from no one along the way.
In truth, most women should never have to be self-made women because this self-made woman idea or category is supposed to only be something that destitute women take on in the hope and in the pursuit of surviving grim circumstances. Women are supposed to be provided for by the men in their lives. In fact, this providing and provision is what allows women to be women. Being a self-made woman, although something that no woman should have to undergo, is something that exists to be merely an exception rather than the rule itself. Once it is proposed as being the rule itself and pushed onto women as something that they ought to aspire to actualize, we lose out on women as women as they masculinize and are only valued in so far as they behave like men.
Independence is a Sham and Self-Sufficiency is for Men and Destitute Women
Independence in a Sham
In our westernized culture, we value independence. The United States of America is founded upon being independent from Great Britian. Classic American values involve us priding ourselves on blazing our own trail, on having the upper hand in power relations, and on being self-sufficient in producing our own things instead of having the cheaper, Chinese manufactured versions infiltrate our markets. Furthermore, America is looked up to as the ideal by many underdeveloped nations with many of these nations being westernized and with feminism leading the way for many women in these countries. While base feminism is good for women in so far as being treated as human, having legal protection, and having the ability to have a bank account, the push for independence from men underlying this globalization of feminist westernization is detrimental to what would make most women most happy. This is because independence itself is a sham, and this is easy to prove when we consider the facts starting with our very existence.
As human beings, we exist because we are conceived. Even if one is unnaturally conceived of in our contemporary world using IVF, the fact remains that without conception, we have no potential to actualize into a newborn baby. There is no such thing as an independent life. To have a life, one is necessarily dependent upon at least two other people. Now, let us consider survival.
Once our existence, through conception, is established, our survival is dependent upon other forms of life. The first form is our mother, yet even when we grow into adults, we are necessarily dependent on other life forms for sustenance. To even nourish our bodies requires a dependence upon the life of another in the form of plant life and meat, and while some may think that once we reach the level of civilization that the transaction negates dependency, and in a sense it does, we are still obligated to depend upon the labor of another in order to acquire the goods that we need and the convenience at which we may have these goods. While the transaction allows no one party to be in debt to the other, it can never negate the interrelation of dependency of one upon the other to sustain our existence and to contribute to our thriving.
Hence, independence is a sham. Independence is an illusory veil through which, through propagation, we come see a disoriented web of relations and surmise ourselves as above or outside of all of it, yet money or transaction does offer us something that is real in a sense and beneficial to a civilized society: the transaction offers us self sufficiency.
Self-Sufficiency is for Men and Destitute Women
Self sufficiency is the idea that we can take care of ourselves, and the transaction of civilization is what makes this idea of self sufficiency possible and that which enables us to actualize it. Self-sufficiency understands that we humans are necessarily dependent beings who may never be independent, yet self-sufficiency offers us the ability to take care of ourselves through the transaction present within a civilization. This transaction allows us to get the resources we need through a transactional relationship that aims to give dignity to the natural and unavoidable dependency that we all have as human beings.
While self sufficiency has many benefits, it is ultimately an attempt to rid ourselves of the blatancy of our dependence one upon the other and works to elevate us to a status lacking the vulnerability of our very nature. Nonetheless, it is certainly a step up from warring it out with others in an attempt to acquire the goods and resources that we need. In fact, men must be self sufficient if we are to maintain any civilization. However, the reverse is true for women.
Men are to be self-sufficient as it is men who are to provide and protect the women and children of any group. The only problem with self-sufficiency for women is that it teaches them that their dignity comes from being able to provide for themselves and it thereby works to replace the natural role of men in their life by replacing men with the transaction. This releases women from the double vulnerability inherent in being a woman, which occurs in the act of creating new life, and such replacement leaves women in a state in which embracing their natural double vulnerability and being open to non transactional relationships is seen as being dependent and thus as being degraded. Women to come to think that if they are unable to take care of themselves and thus acquire the status of “self-sufficient” woman, they are somehow damaged, flawed, and sentenced to degradation as this same propagation of self-sufficiency posits women who no longer see men as reliable, trustworthy providers who, through providing and being good, strong, masculine men offer them the things that they need to be the most happy and fulfilled version of themselves. Instead, men become the enemy to their self sufficiency.
In this world of self-sufficiency, women are only valued insofar as they act like men. Put another way, women are only valued in so far as they are able to provide for themselves. Men thereby become dispensable, irrelevant, and barriers rather than providers and protectors who allow women to be the very things they crave so much to be.
While in contemporary, westernized society many people think that men and women ought to be able to provide equally and that equal contribution will somehow work, the end result is mere acquisition paired with an empty feeling even though the stuff is acquired. These people think that “gender roles” are constructions rather than imprints corresponding with our very creation, and as a result, the essence and spirit of life is lost as women no longer exist as anything more than a materialized form. These people fail to understand the integrity of the dynamic of the relationship between men and women. Who cares if there is a table unless there is a meal being served on it, and who cares if the meal is good if they are unable to digest it and be nurtured by it in a spiritual sense? While it is true that to have the spiritual nourishment that we all crave we must have materials provided, it is men who provide the material. Women alchemize it into being so much more than just a table and so much more than just a meal. Women make the house a home. There is no woman without the man because when women replace men in the name of self-sufficiency, they are unable to be women in the spiritual sense of giving life beyond the material form (i.e., of making a home out of a house). When women start providing for themselves, they are unable to be women because without the men protecting and providing for the woman, she is unable to exist. Of course, they maintain their form as woman, but they lack the ability to nurture life in both the physical and the spiritual sense in which they were created to do.
Yet, while self-sufficneiy is bad as an idea normalized and propagated for women to desire to actualize, it is a good option for women to have in an emergency should the men in their lives prove themselves to be untrustworthy and unreliable. Just like women know that there are mean, hard-hearted women in the world who dress in scantily clad clothing and flirt with married men, who kill children in the name of ambition, and who degrade their bodies for cheap attention, there are also bad men in this world who use women like cum dumpsters only to boost their own esteem, who are spiritually stunted and looking for women to solve their mommy issues, and who want to have a punching bag both literally and metaphorically. From these men, women must be self-sufficient, yet it is like most other things in life. If you surround yourself with the contrary, then these men seem to disappear. In fact, you will have men around you who will slay the dragon in these men to protect and provide for you as the woman.